Divorce and the Mother in Law
Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami , 2000-03-01
Gurudeva continues the discussion of divorce by responding to an e-query, "In a situation where husband and wife are not getting along, or when they have already separated, what can a mother-in-law do?".
Another question from cyberspace. "If a marriage of a boy and a girl is in trouble, and they have children, or if they have actually been divorced, what is the attitude of the mother-in-law to be?"
More than often - you are not going to like me saying this - more than often, the mothers-in-law, on both sides, are the cause of the separation and the divorce. They often have the attitude, "This girl is not good enough for my son." or "This boy is not good enough for my daughter." (And,)That constant harrassment, emotional harassment, mental harassment, and often physical harassment, too - often separate the couple, just for their own peace of mind.
When we are asked to do a compatibility through Jyotisha, astrology for marriage, we not only do the compatibility between the boy and the girl, we also do the compatibility between the girl and his mother. So, the attitude of the mother-in-law on both sides, should be to open the heart and treat each boy and each girl as their own children, (and) love them, keep in touch with them, and try to mend what was strained or broken.
To separate or divorce, was not a part of the marriage agreement in the first place. No one really wants that to happen. The boy does not want it, the girl does not want it. But, for lack of a positive support group, it often happens. It is sad. It makes new karma in this life to be worked out in a life to come.