Ten Tales About Self-Control

image§

Ananya and the Teacher’s Purse

image§

The school bell rang loudly, telling Ananya that it was time to pack up her books and go home. All around her was the noise of joyous laughter, squealing and shouting as the girls got ready to leave. But strangely, her legs would not move. It was as though her feet were attached to the ground. She slowly put her hand into her pocket and felt the $100 bill. It was sitting snugly, but to her it seemed like a live bomb. She had not meant to steal the money. She had actually gone to the staff room to ask the teacher if she could borrow Ramya’s math notebook. But there was no one in the room. Mrs. Guhan’s handbag was lying open on the table. Ananya looked into the bag, and the first thing she saw was the $100 bill. Without even thinking about it, she snatched the money and dashed out of the staff room. She ran and ran and only stopped when she was close to a classroom at the other end of the school.§

Panting and out of breath, she looked at the money. Now, as the bell rang, she wondered if she should spend the money with her friends or keep it for the Diwali holidays. As she sat there thinking, she felt a light tap on her shoulders. She looked up to see Mrs. Ganesan staring down at her. A terrible feeling of shock and fear filled her body. Mrs. Ganesan beckoned her to come with her. As she followed the teacher, Ananya felt as though she was detached from her body. She wanted to run home and hide in her room. When they neared the principal’s office, she felt a strange pain in her chest and almost started crying right there.§

The principal, Mr. Rao, came straight to the point. He did not believe in beating around the bush. He demanded to know, “Ananya, did you take some money from Mrs. Guhan’s handbag today?”§

Looking down at her shoes, Ananya murmured, “No, Sir. I didn’t.”§

image§

image§

For a few seconds there was utter silence. The silence became very loud for Ananya. She feared she had been caught. She looked up and saw that Mrs. Shah had joined the group. The three teachers looked at each other puzzled. Ananya had always been so well behaved in school. Finally, Mrs. Shah said, “Ananya, I saw you taking the money. I was behind the cupboard, and you didn’t see me. Confess and hand it over.”§

image§

Silently, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the $100 bill. Tears blurred her vision. She knew what the teachers must be thinking about her. She had not only stolen money but had also lied. She dared not lift her eyes and see their disappointed faces.§

After a moment’s pause, Mr. Rao said, “Ananya, for your own good, I think your parents should be made aware of your behavior today. If we call them here, it will be embarrassing for you. Because this is the first time you’ve gotten in trouble, I would like you to confess to them at home. Then we will discuss your punishment.”§

That night Ananya sat down for dinner with her parents. She saw the world around her collapsing. Oh, why had she done something so stupid? Why had she peeped into Mrs. Guhan’s handbag and then stolen her money?§

image§

When dinner was nearly over, she said, “Appa, something awful happened in school today.” Then she narrated the incident. Outside, a lonely owl let out a hooting sound, and in the distance, a dog barked loudly. All familiar sounds, but today they sounded alien, harsh and scary. In those few minutes, she had wounded her parent’s belief and trust in her.§

Much to her relief, her Appa acknowledged how difficult it must have been to confess to them and praised her for being such a strong girl. Ananya told her parents she had learned her lesson. Both her Appa and Amma consoled her with hugs and assured her that even though she had made a big mistake, she was still loved.§

The next few days went by in a blur. Her parents grounded her for a month, and she had to spend two weeks in detention after school. But that wasn’t the worst of it. The news of the theft had spread like wildfire. Everywhere she went, students whispered behind her back. “There she is, that girl who stole the money,” they said. Over and over again, the same words and the looks of contempt. Her teachers used to trust her, but now they were suspicious. Even though she wrote a note of apology and gave it to Mrs. Guhan, she still didn’t feel forgiven or right inside herself.§

image§

image§

At night, in the privacy of her room, she cried bitterly and prayed. “Siva, everyone hates me and I don’t blame them. I hate myself. Please save me. Please make my parents, teachers and friends trust and love me again.”§

One night, as she wept bitterly before going to sleep, she heard the door opening and she saw the shadow of her mother. “Ananya, are you crying?” she asked softly.§

Ananya threw her arms around her mother’s neck and continued weeping. She sobbed loudly as she trembled against her mother’s shoulder. Finally, the tears slowed down and she lay quietly in her mother’s arms.§

“It’s okay, my child. It’s over.”§

image§

“I’ll never do it again, Amma, but it’s not over. I did something bad, and today no one respects or loves me. Oh, what can I do?” she asked.§

“Ananya, my dearest,” her mother replied, “we have forgiven you and the school has punished you. But robbing is a public crime and if you want people to change their mind about it, you need to do a public penance. I suggest you do some hard service at the temple. By cleaning the temple floors, you will erase the bad karma you made by stealing.”§

Ananya looked at her mother eagerly and said, “I’m ready to do anything! Anything to go back to my old life.”§

The following Saturday Ananya went to the Siva temple near her house. Standing in front of the altar, she promised, “Siva, I hope you will forgive me for my wrong action. I am going to do penance. From today on, I will come here to the temple every Saturday for a month and scrub and clean the floor.”§

image§

Immediately after saying those words, Ananya felt a strange peace descend on her, and that night, for the first time in a week, she slept well.§

As the days went on, the girls in the school forgot what Ananya had done, but none of them was ready to be her friend again. She sat alone at lunch and was the only girl not invited for birthday parties.§

One Saturday, she was in the temple, cleaning the floor, when a shadow fell across her. She looked up and saw Anjali and her mother. Anjali was one of the best students in the school, and popular as well. Anjali’s mother looked at Ananya with surprise. She said, “My dear, you’re such a little girl and you’re doing so much hard and dirty work!”§

One of the pujaris who was watching took Anjali and her mother aside. Even he knew about the theft. He explained, “She’s been coming here on Saturday and spending more than four hours cleaning the temple. She’s doing penance for stealing the money! I’ve never seen such a young person do this.”§

Ananya’s face was covered in sweat, and her old salwar kameez was soaked with soap and water. She continued doing her work without looking at Anjali and her mother.§

The next day, as she ate her lunch, watching a few crows, Anjali walked up to her and said, “May I join you for lunch?” Ananya bent her head down and said, “Why do you want to eat with a robber?”§

image§

image§

“I am not eating with a robber. I am eating with a girl who has realized her mistake and is willing to punish herself to make up for it. Not many of us are so brave. You have not only realized your mistake but also done a severe penance. I am sorry for judging you.”§

Ananya said softly, “Don’t feel sorry for me. I made a mistake and I’m paying for it.”§

“Silly! Who’s feeling sorry for you? I want to be friends with you.”§

One month after finishing her penance, Ananya sat on her father’s knee. He held her close and said, “My dear daughter, this last month has been very difficult for you, hasn’t it?”§

“No, Dad. It’s been my very best month. I have realized the value of being respected and trusted by my friends, parents and teachers. Never again will I do such a foolish thing as steal! This has been a good experience, Dad.” Saying that, she hugged him tightly.§

image§