Men and Women Are Not the Same, Part Three
Author: Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami
Description: The āchāryas and swāmīs work with the family man and woman to bring them into inner states of being so that they can bring through to the Earth a generation of great inner souls. Balancing the forces the man predominantly is in the piṅgalā current and the woman in the iḍā. It is the duty of the mother and father to provide religious training to the children. The children grow up as young disciples of the mother and the father. A family home may be created that has the same vibration as the temple or a contemplative monastery. Harmony will prevail in such a blissful, positive, uplifting home, the man and woman living fully within their own natures and respecting the uniqueness of each other. Each is king and queen of their respective realms. The man seeks understanding through observation. The woman seeks harmony through devotion. Related Shum word kanif of being in constant remembrance of the path to the holy feet of Lord Siva. "Master Course Trilogy, Merging with Siva" Lessons 279-280.
Transcription:
Good morning everyone. This morning we're continuing with "Merging with Siva" Chapter 40 which entitled "Men and Women Are Not the Same" and it is drawn from "The 1970 Master Course."
Lesson 279
"Nurturing Harmony
"A woman living in the iḍā current goes through her emotional cycles, too. Her moods change regularly. She laughs, cries, sulks, enjoys. He has to be wise enough to allow her to have these ups and downs and neither criticize nor correct her when she does. If conditions become strained within the home, the man of the house becomes the example by feeling the power of his spine and the spiritual force of Śiva within it. He finds that he remains calm and can enjoy the bliss of his own energy. He finds ways and means to create joy and happiness and make odic forces that may have gone into a heavy condition beautiful, buoyant and lovely again.
"Rather than arguing or talking about their cycles, the man who is spiritual head of his house meditates to stabilize the forces within himself. He withdraws the physical energies from the piṅgalā and the iḍā currents into sushumṇā in his spine and head. He breathes regularly, sitting motionless until the forces adjust to his inner command. When he comes out of his meditation, if it really was a meditation, she sees him as a different being, and a new atmosphere and relationship are created in the home immediately.
"The children grow up as young disciples of the mother and the father. As they mature, they learn of inner things. It is the duty of the mother and the father to give to the child at a very early age his first religious training and his education in attention, concentration, observation and meditation.
"The parents must be fully knowledgeable of what their child is experiencing. During the first seven years, the child will go through the chakra of memory. He will be learning, absorbing and observing. The second seven years will be dedicated to the development of reason, as the second chakra unfolds. If theirs is a boy child, he is going through the piṅgalā. If a girl child, she is going through the iḍā current and will go through emotional cycles. By both spouses respecting the differences between them and understanding where each one is flowing in consciousness, there is a give and take in the family, a beautiful flow of the forces.
"The āchāryas and swāmīs work with the family man and woman to bring them into inner states of being so that they can bring through to the Earth a generation of great inner souls. It is a well-ordered cycle. Each one plays a part in the cycle, and if it is done through wisdom and understanding, a family home is created that has the same vibration as the temple or a contemplative monastery. (So that's the ideal that Gurudeva has in mind. I'll read that again.) Each one plays a part in the cycle, and if it is done through wisdom and understanding, a family home is created that has the same vibration as the temple or a contemplative monastery.
"In summary, woman is in the iḍā current predominantly and does not think or flow through the same areas of thought strata as does the man. If he expects her to think the same way that he is thinking, he is mistaken. Once they have a balance of the forces in the home, she is not going to be analytical. She will be in thought, of course, but she will not indulge in his ramified thinking. She is naturally too wise for this. If he wants to have discussions with her or use her as a sounding board, he is inadvisedly guiding her into the piṅgalā current. And if she is going through one of her emotional cycles at the time, she will become upset with him for apparently no reason at all. He has to realize that her intuition is keen, and that she will have, from time to time, profound intuitive flashes. She might explain to him spontaneously the answer to something he has been thinking about for days, without his having verbally expressed to her what was on his mind. This happens quite often in the positive, harmonious home."
Then we get Lesson 280
"Mutual Appreciation
"Tremendous confusion can exist within the family if the man and the woman think that they are the same and are flowing through the same areas of the external mind. The only area that they should flow through together is the sushumṇā, the spiritual. And when they are both intently in the intuitive mind, they will unravel deep and profound things together. She is in the home, making things nice for him. When he returns from his mental involvements in the world, it is up to him to get out of the intellectual mind and into the spiritual currents of his superconsciousness in order to communicate with her at all, other than on a subconscious, physical or materialistic level.
"For harmony to prevail between a man and a woman, he has to live fully within his own nature, and she has to live fully within her own nature. Each is king and queen of their respective realms. If each respects the uniqueness of the other, then a harmonious condition in the home exists.
"A good rule to remember: the man does not discuss his intellectual business problems with his wife, and she does not work outside the home. He solves his problems within himself or discusses them with other men. When he has a problem, he should go to an expert to solve it, not bring it home to talk over. If he does, the forces in the home become congested. The children yell and scream and cry.
"A contemplative home where the family can meditate has to have that uplifting, temple-like vibration. In just approaching it, the sushumṇā current of the man should withdraw awareness from the piṅgalā current deep within. That is what the man can do when he is the spiritual head of the home.
"A woman depends on a man for physical and emotional security. She depends on herself for her inner security. He is the guide and the example. A man creates this security by setting a positive spiritual example. When she sees him in meditation, and sees light around his head and light within his spine, she feels secure. She knows that his intuition is going to direct his intellect. She knows he will be decisive, fair, clear-minded in the external world. She knows that when he is at home, he turns to inner and more spiritual things. He controls his emotional nature and he does not scold her if she has a hard time controlling her emotional nature, because he realizes that she lives more in the iḍā force and goes through emotional cycles. In the same way, she does not scold him if he is having a terrible time intellectually solving several business problems, because she knows he is in the intellectual force, and that is what happens in that realm of the mind.
"She devotes her thought and energies to making the home comfortable and pleasant for him and for the children. He devotes his thought and energies to providing sustenance and security for that home. (This next one's really a profound statement. This is to remember.) The man seeks understanding through observation. The woman seeks harmony through devotion. He must observe what is going on within the home, not talk too much about it, other than to make small suggestions, with much praise and virtually no criticism. He must remember that his wife is making a home for him, and he should appreciate the vibration she creates.
"If he is doing well in his inner life, is steady and strong, and she is devoted, she will flow along in inner life happily also. She must strive to be one with him, to back him up in his desires and his ambitions and what he wants to accomplish in the outside world. This makes him feel strong and stand straight with head up. She can create a successful man of her husband very easily by using her wonderful intuitive powers. Together they make a contemplative life by building the home into a temple-like vibration, so blissful, so uplifting."
And in the commentary a Shum word.
kanif: (That nicely describes the home with the temple like vibration.)
The religious lifestyle found within the structure and the vocabulary of the Shum language; the perspective of a religious, contemplative way of life that brings a feeling of being at the center of the universe; essentially, kanif names a religious feeling or need; the area of the mind where this need is fulfilled; the way of conducting one’s life, or the way of directing life’s activities, in homes and in the shrine, so that shumif is a constant experience for the devotee; the governing laws of being in constant remembrance of the path to the holy feet of Lord Siva; the learning of the Shum language has a molding effect upon the nature of the devotee, bringing him into his religious life; by learning Shum—the language that is a religious experience—the learning of the Saivite religion is an indelible experience.
Thank you very much. Have a wonderful day.
[End of transcript.]