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Men and Women Are Not the Same, Part Two

Author: Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami

Description: Reality points out that there are no, never have been, nor ever will be, delinquent children. Delinquent parents are the culprits. If the man, as spiritual leader of the household radiates peace, Divinity and confidence, and guides subtly and wisely with love overflowing, the wife and children will radiate too. Wise parents find loving means of discipline. He must uphold his purusha dharma, she her womanly duties, strī dharma. The home is the realm of the woman, the wife's domain and she is its mistress. Wise parents find loving means of disipline. Actinic force comes from the central source of life itself, from Lord Śiva. The actinodic, is the magnetic force that holds a home together. Related Shum series. "Master Course Trilogy, Merging with Siva" Lessons 276-278.

Transcription:
Good morning everyone, cold morning. We are continuing "Merging with Siva" Chapter 40, entitled: "Men and Woman Are Not The Same" drawn from "The 1970 Master Course," Lesson 276: "Spiritual Leadership "Who is the spiritual leader of the house? The man or the woman? Dancing with Śiva states: “The husband is, first, an equal participant in the procreation and upbringing of the future generation. Second, he is the generator of economic resources necessary for society and the immediate family. The husband must be caring, understanding, masculine, loving, affectionate, and an unselfish provider, to the best of his ability and through honest means. He is well equipped physically and mentally for the stress and demands placed upon him. When he performs his dharma well, the family is materially and emotionally secure. Still, he is not restricted from participation in household chores, remembering that the home is the wife’s domain and she is its mistress. "If this happens, everything works out naturally in the home in a very harmonious way. If this does not occur, then the prāṇic forces do not flow as well for the family. Why? Because the stabilizing influence of the prāṇas, under control and well balanced, has not come to pass. As a result, there can be no effective invoking of God, Gods and guru. Arguments, rude and harsh words fly back and forth, children are maltreated, and backbiting of the husband, relatives, friends and neighbors is not uncommon. Adultery or casual pickups tempts, distracts and burdens the husband with guilt, especially during his wife’s monthly retreat and during pregnancy. The life of a family going through such karmas is chaos. The children, who modern psychiatrists and ancient seers say, are guided by the example of their parents, are thrown overboard, as from a ship they safely boarded with full confidence. Reality points out that there are no, never have been, nor ever will be, delinquent children. Delinquent parents are the culprits... (Ah Gurudeva, huh? Very outspoken.) ...Delinquent parents are the culprits. The parents are what is wrong with society; children are only guilty of being guided by their example.” "The wise men of ancient times understood how the prāṇic life forces flow within man and woman. They knew that the family man’s being in the sushumṇā current stabilizes the forces of the home. If he is meditating and going within himself, his wife will not have to meditate as much. She and the children will go within to their Divinity automatically on the power of his meditation. If he radiates peace, Divinity and confidence, they will too, without trying, without even being conscious of it. "One thing to remember: the family man is the guru of his household. If he wants to find out how to be a good guru, he just has to observe his own satguru, that is all he has to do. He will learn through observation. Often this is best accomplished by living in the guru’s āśrama periodically to perform sādhana and service. Being head of his home does not mean he is a dominant authority figure, arrogantly commanding unconditional obedience, such as Bollywood and Hollywood portray. No. He must assume full responsibility for his family and guide subtly and wisely, with love always flowing. This means that he must accept the responsibility for the conditions in the home and for the spiritual training and unfoldment of his wife and children. This is his purusha dharma. To not recognize and not follow it is to create much kukarma, bad actions bringing back hurtful results to him in this or another life." Lesson 277. "Wife and Mother "When the wife has problems in fulfilling her womanly duties, strī dharma, it is often because the husband has not upheld his duty, nor allowed her to fulfill hers. When he does not allow her to or fails to insist that she perform her strī dharma and give her the space and time to do so, she creates kukarmas which are actually shared by him. This is because the purusha karmic duty and obligation of running a proper home naturally falls upon him, as well as upon her. So, there are great penalties to be paid by the man, husband and father for failure to uphold his purusha dharma. "Of course, when the children 'go wrong' and are corrected by the society at large, both husband and wife suffer and equally share in the kukarmas created by their offspring. In summary, the husband took the wife into his home and is therefore responsible for her well-being. Together they bring the children into their home and are responsible for them, spiritually, socially, culturally, economically, as well as for their education. "What does it mean to be the spiritual head of the house? He is responsible for stabilizing the prāṇic forces, both positive, negative and mixed. When the magnetic, materialistic forces become too strong in the home, or out of proper balance with the others, he has to work within himself in early morning sādhana and deep meditation to bring through the spiritual forces of happiness, contentment, love and trust. By going deep within himself, into his soul nature, by living with Śiva, he uplifts the spiritual awareness of the entire family into one of the higher chakras. How does he accomplish this? Simply by moving his own awareness into a chakra higher than theirs. The awareness of his family follows his living example. "The family woman has to be a good mother. To achieve this, she has to learn to flow her awareness with the awareness of the children. She has been through the same series of experiences the children are going through. She intuits what to do next. As a mother, she fails only if she neglects the children, takes her awareness completely away, leaving the children to flounder. But if she stays close, attends to each child’s needs, is there when he or she cries or comes home from school, everything is fine. The child is raised perfectly. This occurs if the wife stays in the home, stabilizing the domestic force field, where she is needed most, allowing the husband to be the breadwinner and stabilizer of the external force field, which is his natural domain." And Lesson 278. "How Forces Go Awry "Odic force is magnetic force. Actinic force comes from the central source of life itself, from Lord Śiva. It is spiritual force, the spirit, pure life. The blend of these two forces, the actinodic, is the magnetic force that holds a home together and keeps everything going along smoothly. If a family man and woman are both flowing through the aggressive-intellectual current, the magnetic-odic forces become strong and congested in the atmosphere of the home, and inharmonious conditions result. They argue. The arguments are never resolved, but it is a way of dissipating the odic forces. If the man and the woman are flowing through the passive-physical current, the magnetic odic forces are not balanced. They become physically too attracted to one another. They become unreasonable with each other, full of fear, anger, jealousy, resentment, and they fight or, worse, take their frustrations out by beating, calling names and hurting, in many other ways, each other and their own children who came trustingly into their family. True, it is within the child’s prārabdha karmas to experience this torment, but it is the duty of the parents to protect him from it, creating an environment in which unseemly seeds will not be germinated. True, it may be the child’s karma to experience torment, yet the parents do not have to deliver it. Wise parents find loving means of discipline and protect themselves from earning and reaping the unseemly karmas through improper hiṁsā methods of punishment. "However, if each understands—or at least the family man understands, for it is his home—how the forces have to be worked with within it, and realizes that he, as a man, flows through a different area of the mind than does his wife in fulfilling their respective, but very different, birth karmas, then everything remains harmonious. He thinks; she feels. He reasons and intellectualizes, while she reasons and emotionalizes. He is in his realm. She is in her realm. He is not trying to make her adjust to the same area of the mind that he is flowing through. And, of course, if she is in her realm, she will not expect him to flow through her area of the mind, because women just do not do this. "Usually, it is the man who does not want to, or understand how to, become the spiritual head of his house. Often he wants the woman to flow through his area of the mind, to be something of a brother and pal or partner to him. Therefore, he experiences everything that goes along with brothers and pals and partners: arguments, fights, scraps and good times. In an equal relationship of this kind, the forces of the home are not building or becoming strong, for such a home is not a sanctified place in which they can bring inner-plane beings into reincarnation from the higher celestial realms. (So that's good one to repeat.) In an equal relationship of this kind, the forces of the home are not building or becoming strong, for such a home is not a sanctified place in which they can bring inner-plane beings into reincarnation from the higher celestial realms. If they do have children under these conditions, they simply take 'potluck' off the lower astral plane, or Pretaloka. "A man goes through his intellectual cycles in facing the problems of the external world. A woman has to be strong enough, understanding enough, to allow him to go through those cycles. A woman goes through emotional cycles and feeling cycles as she lives within the home, raising the family, takes care of her husband. He has to be confident enough to understand and allow her to go through those cycles. "The piṅgalā force takes man through the creative, intellectual cycles. Man brings through creativity from inner planes. He invents, discovers, foresees. We normally consider it as all having been created within his external mind, but it is done through his piṅgalā force operating on inner planes of consciousness. He is not going to be smooth always and living in superconscious states, for he has to go through these experiential cycles. He must be inspired one day and empty the next. He must succeed and fail. He is living his destiny and working out karmas." Oh, I got through all of that. Sometimes I have to read three lessons which we did today. There's seven lessons in a chapter and I'm supposed to do one complete chapter. So I have to read two, two and three to add up to seven. So this was the three lessons that's why it was a bit long. Then we have the Shum commentary here. Have to get used to the new spelling, changed the spelling. kyreh Heat, either physical or physic. vumkyreh Harmony of the external and internal ego in living the divine life. kamvumkyreh A psychic surgery accompanied by heat and tears in giving up concerns; when one gets hurt psychically, his kundalini force goes into the sympathetic nerve system, causing heat, pain and tears; when the devotee is in this area of the mind, he becomes quite comfortable in his unhappy state and has little or no desire to go within to deeper states of mind; there are strong urges to feel sorry for oneself, evoking self-pity. (So we don't want to go there. So, if we end up there we want to move out quickly.) akamvumkyreh Learning to give grace and work with karmic cycles; (This is the one I was aiming for.) working with karmic cycles for another; when a guru, from a different perspective from his chela, has worked out a karmic cycle with the chela as he is going through a delicate transition; this in no way implies the dominance of one mind over another, but the close influence of one mind gently supporting another; both minds must be open to and cooperate with this guru influence; this can be experienced when ining and umming are harmonious. (Okay.) muhm'a ( it's a long one.) muhm'akamvumkyreh Seeing actinic pranas of grace as they collect. m'muhakamvumkyreh Welling up or saving up of the force of grace. Thank you very much. Have a wonderful day. [End of transcript.]