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In part two today of Gurudeva's answer on wedding protocols Gurudeva says that divorce is a new thing in Hindu society and according to traditional priests it is looked at like a person had been widowed.

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Date: March_20_2001
Title: Gurudeva Interviewed by Loni Petranek Part 12
Category: The Guru
Duration: 4 min., 01 seconds
Date Given: August 20, 2000

Gurudeva: In the United States, we had a very wonderful culture before the First World War. That culture all went away after the Second World War. But, before the World Wars there was no delinquency; that word was not ever mentioned, it didn't exist. the parents were held responsible by the community for the behavior of the kids. Mothers didn't work. They stayed home and they took care of their family. The society grew and flourished. Then, after the Second World War, women had to go out to work and never were at home.That became the culture, or non-culture, that the whole world is following right now. The recipients of that happening are the disturbed youth, who basically are raising themselves. That is why we have gangs now, delinquency now, and all kinds of problems, because Mom is not home, doing her job.

Loni: Yeah. It is a real dilemma, I think, because women want to participate in more than having children and being a mother. If they can do that and also participate in the world in bringing something forth, a creative expression in a book, in dance or whatever. So, I know it is a real challenge for many women, because they see that the men have the opportunity to do both. They can go to work and they can come home. The women really don't have that opportunity. So, I think there is a real dilemma there.

Gurudeva: In my Church, we have a very large, international congregation. Most of them are Asian families. I have one policy. A couple came just day-before-yesterday from London to see me, and they were coming on their honeymoon. I told them, "If you have any problems in your marriage, it is always the husband's fault." I always take the side of the wife. Why do I do that? Because, he brings her into his home, to love and care for her. I said, "We want you to buy her gold bracelets so that she cannot lift up her arms, earrings until her ears hurt, and all the fine things of life. And, then together, you bring children into your home." So, he is responsible for that. To be kind, caring, to be generous, to bring out all those qualities within him. I think, then, the mother spirit also comes up on the other side, in the woman.

It is not like the European idea, 'I am the head of the house. Do what I say, even if I am telling you the wrong thing to do. You have to do it, because I say so, because I am the head of the house.' That we look upon as the profound ignorance, and very hurtful to people who do that. Because, out of it comes no good. The wife gets hurt, the kids get hurt. It is really bad karma for the man who does that. I think you agree, don't you?

Loni: Absolutely, yes.

Gurudeva: So, we are very happy to see this mother spirit coming forward. Whether it is a married lady, or a lady who wants to express herself, as long as she encourages others to take a stand against violence within the home, to take a stand against drugs, to take a stand and to bring it down to earth, so that we have a Drug-free Kauai. We want a Drug-free Kauai. It is the new millennium, isn't it? So, we are asking ladies to do it! I think the ladies are going to do it. Would you help?

Loni: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely!

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Gurudeva also met our members from Malaysia in the temple. Bala Sivaceyon prostrates after giving Gurudeva some lovely gifts he brought from Malaysia.

His son Nutanaya is living with us as a premonastic. Bala and his wife raised him for the monastery from the time he was a baby.

Another young man in Malaysia, Thambynathan Gurudasanatha is planning to be a monk. Here is his uncle, Vemalananthan, coming for his first visit to Hawaii. Vemalananthan works in East Malaysia at an Oil refinery and that is where he got to meet Bala Sivaceyon who is a security officer for Petronas, a big Malaysian oil company.

Here is a wonderful Hindu family, originally from Mumbai, India. They now live in Boston. They were on Kauai for a conference and heard about the temple from their hotel employees.

Here is a marvelous photo of the Maha Spatika Lingam: The large six-point Crystal Siva lingam that will be the main Deity in the Iraivan temple. This stone was not carved by man but naturally formed.

Merging with Siva Book Review

Recently Merging with Siva was reviewed by Bob Ledwidge, of Living Traditions. Mr. Ledwidge lives in Australia and is a professional book reviewer. We want to share with you his insights, which show how may people are taking to this life changing metaphysical masterpiece.

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>Merging with Siva
Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami
Himalayan Academy Publications, 2001
Softcover (limited edition hardcover also available)

Spirituality in the "new age" has tended to reflect our technological obsessions. It is, usually, verbose, complicated and complex. The problem with this approach is that it works with the mind, even perhaps the emotions, but does not speak to the essential self. So much modern spiritual literature works to compete in the world with secular and mainstream writing, hence rather than really reaching us it simply presents another theory, another technique, a new form of yoga or meditation. This penchant for novelty may fill a consumer need, but does not necessarily feed the soul.

Merging with Shiva is a very different sort of book. Its heart is comprised of 365 short sections which can be read in a year, spending around 10 minutes a day. Each section is very easy to read, simple and written in a direct style, it is only throughout the next day as you think over what you have read that you begin to realize the strength of each message. Merging with Shiva embodies the concept that there is immense power in simplicity. Each section while flowing effortlessly seems to bypass emotions, intellect and body and touch something much deeper. While it may only take 10 minutes to read, one wonders if there is not a lifetime of meaning condensed into each passage. Condensing and distilling - each of these words describe Merging with Shiva. It is as though through a unique alchemical process the secrets of life have been condensed into simple but poignant and powerful expressions.

The beauty of teaching in bite-sized packages is the way in which quite complex subjects can be slowly unveiled. Merging with Shiva is like building a house, each brick is placed onto another until the whole edifice is revealed. This allows us to contemplate individual concepts which interconnect as the whole picture is unveiled. Accordingly difficult and complex matters are taught with an ease which would make many school teachers jealous !

I personally find the Self God, which is included at the start of the book very meaningful. I first came across it many, many years ago in a small booklet I found at a second hand store. It was an ecstatic experience as I read what seemed to be like nectar, juice squeezed from the fruit of spiritual experience. This one booklet led me on a journey that cumulated in my personal contact with the Himalayan Academy. It is included at the start of Merging with Shiva, printed in the handwriting of Subramuniyaswami. At first this seems annoying, even a nuisance; it cannot be quickly read or glossed over. Here, then, is the importance and power of the text. As you work to read each word, phrase and paragraph its message and vision begins to unfold. It is a great way to begin your journey through Merging with Shiva.

There is so much more in this book that it is hard to summarize. There is, of course, good solid background information on the tradition of Saiva Siddhanta: its theology and practise and certainly more than enough to provide one of the better introductions to Shaivism as a living spiritual tradition. But what makes Merging with Shiva so unique is its ability to bring that living tradition within reach of the seeker. It slowly draws the reader into a deep understanding of themselves, the universe and the great "spiritual chain of being" of which we are part. It does so simply, succinctly and yet with great erudition and wisdom.

As a professional book reviewer one can easily become jaded. There are oh so many spiritual titles, all claiming so much. Merging with Shiva is a modest text, there is no new age hype, no outrageous claims, no UFO abductions nor calls to the bizarre or garish. There is a simple and honest presentation of the distilled wisdom of a lifetime and this makes Merging with Shiva very rare and quite unique. In my personal collection I consider it one of the most important books I have.

Its presentation matches its content superbly. It is beautifully illustrated, easy on the eye too and professionally presented.

I commend Merging with Shiva to you, whether you are simply curious or a deep seeker, you will find something of great value here.

Bob Ledwidge, Living Traditions, Australia

Gurudeva's other monastery in the island country of Mauritius
in the Indian Ocean near South Africa

Here's a couple of photos from Mougam Pareatumbee, one of Gurudeva's close devotees in Mauritius. He is the head of the one year old Hotel and Catering Training Center in Flacq. Last Friday was the graduation of his center's first group of twenty trainees-all of whom are now employed. The ceremony was held at the wonderful Le Coco Beach Hotel ( www.lecocobeach.com ) in Belle Mare and was co-sponsored by the Mauritian Chef's Association.

The tourism industry is a major part of the Mauritian economy. The training of chefs here on the island is a fairly recent innovation. (Formerly students had to go abroad.) To lend their support to this training initiative several government ministers attended the ceremony. Left to right: The Honorable Mr Koonjoo, Minister of Co-operatives and Handicrafts, The Honorable Mr S Michel, Minister of Fisheries, Mr Erwin of the Coco Beach Hotel, Mr Manon Mardemootoo and Miss Reena Bara.

The Honorable Mr Fowdar, Minister of Training, Skills Development and Productivity (center in blue jacket) was also on hand. This photo and the one preceding shows Mr Mardemootoo presenting (on behalf of the training center) gift copies of the book "Positive Discipline" to the government ministers. The principles of Positive Discipline are used by Mougam Pareatumbee in his training center.

Mr Varsen Lutchmanen Doorganaden ceremoniously hands Sadhaka Jothinatha his deposit for the Northern European Innersearch cruise this coming August. Varsen is the first Mauritian to sign up for the travel-study program! The trip will involve making some sacrifice. But he's rearranged his priorities. He knows how precious the special time with Gurudeva will be. Come on board the MS Amsterdam with Gurudeva this August and get to know the special people who will be travelling with him. Sign up for the cruise below.

12 Glorious Days, 8 Enchanting Countries and One Chance in a Lifetime! Imagine spending 12 days with one of the greatest spiritual leaders of this century. Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami will be leading this exotic educational and spiritual voyage himself combining the mystical path of Indian spirituality with a superlative retreat from it all. Take advantage of this one chance to be in close proximity with a living master. Come with us on an inner and outer voyage to Northern Europe and Russia. www.innersearch.org